


Because I Love You

by MEOW_I_am_a_cat



Series: Because [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, FWB, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, Rimming, Smut, i guess, it's a LOT less angsty than the others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4677026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MEOW_I_am_a_cat/pseuds/MEOW_I_am_a_cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy. It never was easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Finally the end! I'm laying off the smut for a while; kinda feeling awkward writing it now... At least I did in this one. But anyway.  
> New soulmates AU coming soon! If you're into that, watch out for Grey!  
> This third installment takes place ~2014-ish, maybe late 2013. IDK tho.

It's not easy. It never was easy.

It wasn't easy, when they first started out, and they didn't know _what_ they were doing or _how_ they were going to pull it off, but they knew _why_ and that was good enough for both of them, so they _did_ it.

It wasn't easy, when it all crashed down, and there was no touching or even talking, and they each had to keep their distance, just to keep the peace.

And it  _isn't_ easy, now, when they're silent in private, when they're away from prying eyes and intruding cameras, but outside, in public and at work and in videos and even around their own friends for fear of vlogging cameras, they have to play up their relationship and work to not let anything slip.

They have to keep their secrets, not only from the world, but even from each other. They keep their secrets, refusing to even acknowledge them, as if they are secrets from themselves as well. They keep them, even though they both know the secrets, of themself and the other. They know they have the same secret.

So it becomes a waiting game. Each waiting for the other to break, to confess.

If you were to ask Phil, it was Dan who cracked first.

~~~

He knocks on Phil's bedroom door, something he hasn't done in... forever, really. When they were... together, for lack of a better word, they pretty much shared both rooms. Even when they weren't sharing a bed, they were still open with each other. Doors were open and people were welcome to come and go as they pleased.

“Yeah?” Phil says. _Yeah_. Not _Come in_ , all professional. It's not even snappy, like there's a hidden undertone of _What the_ hell _do_ you _want?_

It's... Soft. Friendly.

Dan pushes the door open. He doesn't step inside.

“I-I'm sorry,” he whispers.

Phil looks up at him and sees him fidgeting in the doorway, biting at his lip.

“I'm sorry,” Dan says again. Tears are threatening to fall. His voice shakes as he tries to hold them back. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything in the beginning. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I ruined everything by wanting you back. I'm sorry I still want you back. Because I love you. And I'm sorry for that.”

Phil rises and strides over to the doorway where Dan still stands. He embraces the younger boy, and mutters into his shoulder, “Oh, Dan.” And in those two words he says everything.  _I understand. I'm sorry, too. I love you, too._

He kisses Dan's neck. It's soft and gentle and he uses just the right amount of pressure with his teeth and tongue so that he sucks a nice red patch onto the tender skin. He moves up, peppering light kisses along his jawline, moving to press his lips to Dan's in a gentle kiss. They both lean into it, their eyes sliding shut. Dan lets out a small moan, and Phil takes advantage of the gap in Dan's lips, slipping his tongue into Dan's mouth. It's almost as if it's their first time again, slow and gentle. Except it's better, because this time they've done this before, this time they know everything about the other, this time they know the spots to give the most pleasure, they know where to bite and where to suck and where to kiss, they know all of each other's cues. And it's perfect.

When Dan starts to play with the hem of Phil's shirt, the elder's hand retreats from Dan's hair and swiftly removes both shirts. He pulls Dan closer, relishing in the returned feeling of skin-to-skin contact.

“ _God_ I love you,” Phil whispers into Dan's neck.

Slender fingers slide dark jeans down, letting the fabric hit the floor.

Phil's hands slide along the curve of Dan's ass, resting on the backs of his thighs. He pulls the legs up, and Dan wraps them around Phil's waist as he's carried to the bed.

Phil sets him down gently on the green and blue bedspread.

“Get your pants off,” he instructs, rummaging through the top drawer of his bedside table and retrieving the lube. He watches Dan shuffle to rid himself of the fabric, slowly sliding his own off as well.

“On your front,” Phil commands, tossing the small bottle of lube onto the bed.

Dan complies quickly, rolling over as he feels the bed shift with Phil's weight.

Phil kneels behind his – what, boyfriend? – and slowly licks a hot, wet stripe along his ass. He gently parts the cheeks and circles Dan's puckered hole with his tongue before slowly pressing in.

Dan lets out a low moan at the sensation, breathlessly begging for more.

Phil slides a finger in next to his tongue, thrusting them in unison, searching for Dan's prostate. When he hits it, another moan is released, and Phil adds a second finger to the mix, stretching the boy beneath him. Just as Dan starts getting into it, thrusting back and fucking himself on Phil's fingers and tongue, Phil pulls out.

Dan whines at the loss of contact.

“Turn over,” Phil tells him.

Dan watches as Phil spreads the lube over his hard cock. Phil lines himself up and slides in slowly, letting Dan adjust to the feeling.

“Keep... going...” he gasps, throwing his head back. Even given the countless times they've done this before in the past how many years, Dan still loves the feeling, loves the stretch.

Phil eagerly obeys the instruction, slowly beginning to thrust, but quickly increasing his pace.

Dan's eyes slide shut in pleasure, and it doesn't take long for either to climax, Dan's cum spilling across his chest as Phil's fills him up, the other man sliding out with care.

He reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing a handful of tissues and gingerly wiping Dan's body free of the rapidly cooling liquid.

Phil pulls the duvet from beneath Dan's body, and lies beside him in the bed, wrapping them both in the warm blanket.

Dan nestles into Phil's arms, the post-coital cuddling response almost automatic.

Phil lets his hand rest in Dan's hair, lightly stroking the strands. He presses a kiss to the back of Dan's head.

“I love you, Dan Howell,” he whispers.

“I love you too, Phil Lester,” Dan mutters back.

 


End file.
